Bill Clinton screws with voters heads for a change

In a last-ditch effort to gain public support for his doting wife, convicted felon and former president Bill Clinton threw a bone to Texas and Ohio, hoping they’ll bite.

Bill Clinton told supporters at a rally in Galveston Wednesday that the Texas and Ohio primary elections will decide who the Democratic Party’s presidential nominee will be.

“This whole nomination process has come down to Texas and Ohio,” Clinton told a crowd of about 300 Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton supporters. “If she wins Texas and Ohio I think she will be the nominee. If you don’t deliver for her, I don’t think she can be. It’s all on you.”

Hopefully, Texas and Ohio voters can tell they’re being jerked around, and will let Clinton know he’s barking up the wrong tree.


2 Responses to Bill Clinton screws with voters heads for a change

  1. thejabberwocky says:

    Texas or not, I think Hillary is through. I wrote a poem about her, when I still thought she was a real threat. I took the liberty of posting it here- please delete it if you think this is too spamish.

    Oh, those were the days when our brains were tazed
    Back in Twenty, Zero, Eight.
    When the times were tough and the men were gruff
    When they had to go on dates
    It was “Clinton” this, and “Clinton that,”
    And “Gosh, I think she’s smart,”
    He’d just nod his head as he hoped instead
    That the super bowl would start
    As the time progressed he’d have hardly guessed
    That she’d still be in the thing
    But to his surprise right before his eyes
    She had still not left the ring
    She had just one foe who withstood her blow:
    Who had come from a mixed descent
    Who presumed that he, might yet somehow be,
    Our first black president
    But he had no chance, for she wore the pants
    From the time that it had begun
    For she often basked in the questions asked,
    Like the rays of a gentle sun
    When her voice grew soft, then the gloves came off,
    Like the trick of a clever crook
    Though she used her left, she could still be deft,
    With a nasty right-hand hook
    Oh, those were the days when our brains were tazed
    In Twenty, Zero, Eight.
    When the times were tough and the men were gruff
    ‘When they had to go on dates
    They would never squawk when their women talked,
    Though by now they were awful scared,
    For a silent sigh, and lowered eye,
    Was the most that they ever dared!
    Chapter Two
    To Little Rock in Arkansas
    The dreaded Clintons came
    The Southern state that once was great
    Would never be the same
    ^^We loathed their guts so very much
    They lost their second bid
    But then they won it back again
    ’Cuz Rodham had a kid
    In 92 the Clinton crew
    Had bigger fish to fry
    The faithful wife gave Bill his life
    By standing by her guy
    The Senior Bush who lacked a push
    Became their only foe
    Yet still they only won the race
    Because of Ross Perot
    For eight more years with lies and tears
    They kept their foes in check
    The crafty two knew how to brew
    A storm as fierce as heck
    The democrats who gave congrats
    For what they did to Starr
    Will change their tune so very soon
    When Rodham goes too far
    So when at last their term was passed
    We hoped they’d fade away
    But to our fear they made it clear
    Their names were here to stay
    As we rejoiced with all the boys
    We heard foreboding news:
    She took a place inside a race
    She knew she could not lose
    In old New York she went to work:
    A state completely blue
    Their hearts were sold, she won it cold
    With plenty hull’baloo
    She took the floor and with hopes to score
    In front of ev’ryone
    The comeback kid would make her bid
    When Bush’s term was done

    Chapter Three
    So when one night the time was right
    She laid her trump-cards down
    The winds of fate that blew of late
    Would turn the tide around
    The G-O-P had ceased to be
    In power any more
    For that is why she did not try
    In twenty, zero, four.
    Her soul assured, she gave the word
    To let the fight begin
    She made advance, there’d be no chance
    That some one else could win
    The early states would vote at rates,
    So close she could not lose:
    She thought no foe could raise the dough
    To quench the lighted fuse
    And just in case it was a race
    She had another plan
    With nought to lose, she still could use
    Her loyal, cheating, man
    He’d yell insults to get results
    By slinging lots of mud
    While she stood back and dodged the flack,
    As if she wore no blood
    And more than that, she filled her hat
    With superdelegates
    Who backed her run by two-to-one
    And helped her hedge her bets
    The people’s bane would help maintain
    Her aristocracy
    These democrats could call the match
    With all this done she soaked up sun
    And tried to part the clouds
    Her soul was bared as if she cared
    About the thronging crowds
    With moistened eyes and gentle sighs
    She basked in all the talk
    But on her mount she did not count
    On good old black Barack

    Feel free to e-mail this poem to a friend or fellow campaign staffer
    Chapter Four is coming as soon as it writes itself. I will try to move quickly since the Clinton campaign will likely be over in a couple weeks.

  2. I’m very impressed! Thanks for sharing it.

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